Night Ride Across the Caucasus
by Politic X

Part 6
See part 0 for header information.


She began worrying about the impact, if any,
Lukesh's death would have on Scully.  Would
it have killed her as well?  Would his death
have taken her back to the world from whence
she came?

She needed to sleep tonight, but this last
thought filled her with such urgency that she
poured herself a tumbler of iced tea and hit
the road again.

It had been forty-five hours since she'd last
slept.

****
eiGht

She wasn't sleeping when Monica came in, but
her eyes were closed.  She opened them,
knowing already that it was her lover; she
recognized her scent.  Gratitude flooded her.

"Hey," Monica whispered.  She was close to
her, as close as she could get, and she
touched her arm.  "You doing okay?"

She blinked once, yes.  Blinking was a code
she'd worked out to begin with.  Of course,
it was limited to 'yes' or 'no,' but her hand
was so damned sore that she reverted to it
with growing frequency.

"I got him, he's dead.  Lukesh."  Her brow
furrowed. "I was worried that his death would
have an adverse effect on you."

She blinked twice.  No.

"I'm sorry, Scully."  Her voice sounded
fragile. "I haven't been the best support
system for you."  She shook her head wearily.
"I pride myself on being a free thinker, and
I've come to realize that I've limited my
scope." She stifled a yawn.  "I'm probably
not making any sense. Maybe I will in the
morning." She checked her watch. "Maybe not."
She smiled. "It is morning.  I've lost track
of time. Do you care if I stay here a while?"

She blinked once - yes, she cared, Monica
needed to sleep - and reached for her
control.

Monica caught her hand and bent her head to
it.  "You can't send me away."

Scully's heart pounded.

Monica's lips were on her fingers. "I'm your
girlfriend, after all."  She smiled self-
consciously.

Even though Scully was delighted to see
Monica smiling again, she pulled her hand
away and touched the joystick.  'Not in this
world.  Friends.  Co-workers. But -' Her hand
was slower than normal.  The more she used
it, the worse it became.  'Can't understand,'
she typed.

"I don't understand everything either,"
Monica sighed, shaking her head.

No.  That's not what she meant.  'Me,
straight.'

"Oh."  Her eyebrows rose.  "So."  She cleared
her throat.  "You've always... you... In your
world, you had always been with women?"

'Yes.'

She blushed.  "Were we happy?"

Scully considered her carefully before
replying.  'Yes.'

"What... how did it start?  Us?  Did you just
call me up one day and ask me out?"

If she could laugh, she would.  'No. You
invited me - loft-warming.'

"Wait a minute.  You said I moved there in
June in your world."

She blinked her eyes, yes.

"But that was right after William was born,"
she said softly.  "About the time that Mulder
left.  Is that how it was?"

She blinked.

"So, at this party... did you make a pass at
me?  Is that what you're telling me?"

'Mutual.'

"No, no, no.  See, somebody's always the
instigator."  She grinned.  "You're not
wanting to take the fall for corrupting an
innocent mind."

'You took my coat.  Your hands.'  She paused
and wiggled her fingers a bit, trying to flex
them. 'Everywhere.'

She was already pink, and turned a darker
shade.  "No, Dana.  I don't buy it.  I most
definitely would not make a pass at you like
that.  Out of the blue."  She reached for her
glass of tea and took a swallow, sucking a
piece of ice into her mouth.  "Had my hands
all over you."  Her words were garbled by the
ice.  "Right."

Scully was moving the cursor as fast as she
could, wanting to tease Monica before things
became serious again. 'Swear.  You kissed
me.' She looked at her, but Monica was
staring into space.

Monica dipped her hand in her tea and pulled
out another piece of ice.  "You want some?"
she asked softly.

She slowly closed her eyes and reopened them
- as fervent a yes as she could make it.
Something wet in her mouth sounded wonderful.
Some sensation other than itchy eyeballs and
cold, painful fingers.

Monica leaned over the bed. "Start blinking
if it gets too cold or if I need to stop."
She parted Scully's lips with the cube of
ice, rubbing them with it lightly.  She
pulled it away, looking into her eyes.  "Is
it okay?"

She blinked once and then she felt it on her
tongue, so cold it brought tears to her eyes.
Oh, God, it was wonderful.  Monica continued
her ministrations with devotion, sliding the
cube over her lips and softly pushing them
open, inserting the ice and swirling it
around before removing it, over and over.
When Scully's mouth became too cold, she
blinked her eyes.

"This shouldn't have happened to you," Monica
said hoarsely.  "You were in love with me
there."  She removed the melting ice from
Scully's mouth, dropped it into her tea, and
set the tumbler aside.

Scully moved the joystick.  'I thought you
were open to things.'

"I am."

'Then why are you embarrassed?'

"By what?  By you being gay?  By - by us in
your world?"  She looked down.  "I'm not
embarrassed, Dana.  It's just a lot to think
about.  It's hard to imagine."

But it wasn't, she could tell.  Monica was
afraid.  'Hard for me to imagine,' she typed.
'Not loving you.'

Monica stared at the screen and at her, her
eyes brimming with tears.  They spilt, and
she wiped at them.

'Beautiful,' she typed.

"Scully," she softly protested.  She looked
away.

Scully tapped on the keypad.  If she'd had
full use of her arm, she would've jerked
Monica around, forced her to look at her.
All she could do now was tap for attention.
It worked, though.  Monica looked at her.
'Disco.'

"What?"

'Party.'

"Disco?  Well, I've got the cds for it." She
looked at the monitor, but seemed to stare
beyond it.  She was drifting off.

'You're tired.  Go home.'

"No. Well yes, I am tired, but I was just
thinking.  It's hard for me to imagine the
Scully I know coming to a party of mine."

'Maybe she just needs invitation.'  Her damn
finger was becoming calloused.

"Touch,.  So, why did you come?"

'Thought about you all the time."

"No way."  She grinned, embarrassed.

'I'll never forget it.'

"Yeah?"

'Every song.  You dancing.'  She was laughing
inside, even though her mouth didn't move.
'Hustle.'

"No way."  She bent, laughing, slapping her
knee.  "I was not dancing the Hustle. You're
pulling one over on me."  She was bright
pink.

'Sounds corny.  But beautiful. Couldn't take
my eyes off you.  Special night.'

"So.  So, did we... Did we dance?"

'Yes.  Way you felt in my arms, incredible.'

Monica swallowed.

Her hand was cramping, so it took longer to
form the next sentence.  'I fell in love a
dozen times that night, every time with you.'

"Oh."  Monica smiled sadly, her eyes shining.

'I remember your hair, shorter than now. Way
you touched me.'

Monica smiled softly, and her eyes got a
faraway look in them.  Presently, she
returned her gaze to the monitor.

'Remember the way you smelled.  The way you
tasted.'

"Oh, God," she whispered, and bent her head
into her hand.

'Don't want to embarrass you.'  Her words
were formed as slowly as always, but Monica
wasn't looking at the screen; she was crying.
She continued anyway. 'But you need to know
your worth, Reyes.'

Monica finally looked up at the monitor.
"What am I supposed to say to that?"  Her
face was wet and red.  "I can hardly look at
you, Scully."  But she did look at her then.
"What am I supposed to say to you?"  She
wiped her face and stood up.  "Nothing I can
say would be enough.  Nothing I can do would
be enough.  I would change it all if I could.
I pray to swap places with you."

She was watching her lover's heart breaking.
No, not her lover - her friend, her co-
worker.  She moved the cursor over the
letters.  The trembling began again, worse
than before.  'Say nothing.  Know you're
special.  Leave, don't come back.  Please.'

She wanted Monica to understand that it was
okay that they weren't lovers in this world.
It was better than okay, if it meant Monica
would grieve for her less.

After all, she would die soon.

****
niNe

She couldn't go.  "I'm not leaving.  I can't
leave you here, when you..."  She paused,
suddenly realizing.  "No."  She shook her
head.  "No, Scully.  Tell me..."  She rubbed
her forehead roughly, pushing the hair from
her face.  "When you said it wasn't my fault.
You took my case."  She looked at her
incredulously.  "I wouldn't have missed work
over bronchitis.  I get it every year, I know
what it does to me.  It doesn't keep me in
bed - it wouldn't.  If I was on a case and I
had work to do, it wouldn't stop me.  If you
know me at all, you know that."

Scully merely stared at her.

"What'd you do?  You told me something to
make me stay home, didn't you?  You used my
respect for you against me."

Scully's hand was moving the joystick, but
Monica didn't stop.  She was outraged.
"What'd you do?  Influence me to miss work so
that you could go on the stakeout?  If we
were lovers, I assume you knew all about the
case.  What did you do?"

Scully met her eyes.  'You had fever, didn't
need to work.'

She didn't acknowledge Scully's words.  "You
took the case from me!  Why?  Did you worry
I'd be hurt?"  Monica threw her hand out,
pointing her finger at Scully in accusation,
even though she was the one who felt guilty.
"You're lying in this bed because of me!
You're paralyzed because of me!"

Scully moved the cursor back over the letters
again and added more.  'You're here with me.
That's all that matters.'

The time it took Scully to spell out her
words calmed Monica. "It's not all that
matters."  She looked down.  "What matters is
that you gave your life for mine."

'Worth it. You'd do same for me, even now.
Even though you don't love me here.'

Monica shook her head.  Biting her lip,
forcing back feelings she couldn't voice.

Pain clouded Scully's expression.  'My
mistake.'

"Yes."  The words fell from her mouth and she
had no control over them.  "Yes, it is your
mistake, if you think I don't love you."

****
tEn

She'd planned to say something less dramatic,
but there it was.

Scully blinked once slowly, and then again.
She didn't believe her.  'Monica, don't.  I
don't need that.'

"You don't know what I feel."

'Been awake 2 days affecting you.  Respect,
admire, not love.  Listen to me.'

She waited impatiently.

'You fell in love with me there.  Enough love
for both of me.  Is that how it works?  2 of
me?  I need to know more.'

"I don't know, Scully.  You'd know more about
quantum physics than me.  If you slipped from
your world into a different dimension, I
think the other you must be around here
somewhere, outside our abilities of
detection.  As weird as it sounds."

'Do you really believe that?'

"I don't know."

'Yes or No.'

"I don't know, Scully.  How can I?"

She ran the cursor over her words again.
'Yes or No.'

Monica rubbed her forehead, thinking.  "Yeah,
I-"  She stopped short.  "Why is it
important?"

'2 of us can't be in same world,' she
responded.  'Fix it.'

(Continued in part 7)